Funny bumpers

i'm not driving fast, i'm flying low !

Just say NO to negativity

I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

I've heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading.

Beer doesn't make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).

The bigger the hat, the better the cowboy.

I feel better after I wine a little.

I'm still a hot babe, but now it comes in flashes.

National Spellling Bee Runer-Up

The Moral Majority is neither.

Dyslexics Untie!

Sorry if I look interested, I'm not!

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

In case of rapture, can I have your car?

I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM.

I poke badgers with spoons.

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Keep on working, millions on welfare depend on you!

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Veni, Vidi, VD. I came, I saw, I cankered.

I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE!

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.




That's not a haircut, it's a cry for help.

If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas!

So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

Want a little taste of religion? Bite the minister.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!

Excess is never too much in moderation.

My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states.

To err is human, to moo bovine.

Think globally, Act galactically.

My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.

If it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Don't believe everything you think.

Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!

Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants.

Life is short. So buy the shoes!

Never believe generalizations.

The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.

I don't think, therefore I am not.

Jesus saves. He uses double coupons.

Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I got stuck.

Avoid alliterations always.

Dyslexics are teople poo.

Say "NO" to drugs. That will bring the prices down.

What would Ashton do?

Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.

An Apple a day keeps Windows away.

This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

What would Gandalf do?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows.

Does anal retentive have a hyphen?

If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it.

Resistance is futile (if < 1 ohm).

My mother was a moonshiner, and I love her still.

MOP AND GLO - The floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

I'm Canadian. It's like being American, but without the gun.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

The control key on the keyboard does not work.

The meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.

Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

Nuke the Whales! We'll hunt them at night.

Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you're a jerk.

Lawyers have feelings too (allegedly).

If there is no God, who always pops up that next Kleenex?

Too much Pluribus, not enough Unum.

Forget world peace; visualize using your turn signal.

What wouldn't Jesus do?

If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

The box said Windows 2000 or better. So I installed Linux.

Use the best: Linux for servers, Mac for graphics, Windows for Solitaire.

I found Jesus - he was behind the sofa all the time.

So many cats, so few recipes.

Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.

Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.